Empathy

One of the most important and necessary values of Christianity is empathy, which I define as “one’s ability to put yourself in the shoes of another.” Empathy is not just noticing that someone is upset, but it is stepping into their emotional experience with them. Empathy is a mental capacity that helps us to care about others. Empathy comes more naturally for some and needs developed for others.

The opposite of empathy is apathy, which is the lack of caring about others. Because we’re not proficient in empathy, it often requires a personal lived experience to begin to care about people. This is why it is so important to build meaningful relationships with as many different people as we can. For example, if we have a close relationship with our undocumented landscaper, then it will change our attitude toward immigration policy. As we speak with our foreign-born landscaper, we may quickly learn that they did not do anything wrong to no longer be properly documented, but that the rules were changed in the middle of the game.

A Christ-centered kind of love requires some level of empathy. You may ask, can someone have too much empathy? Yes, this is often referred to as toxic empathy. The reason why it is toxic is because the caring person overextends themselves. It can be unhealthy to absorb the pian of others to the degree that neglects one’s own needs. To know where the line is between empathy and toxic empathy, we must be secure in who we are and confident about our capacity to extend love and care for others.

While toxic empathy can occur, it also cannot be used as an excuse to be unloving. When Jesus heals the sick, feeds the hungry, comforts the brokenhearted, proclaims freedom for the captives, and preaches Good News to the poor, he is teaching his disciples how to live. Imagine if Jesus’ disciples responded to him by saying, “we can’t help them because that would be toxic empathy.” Of course, that is nonsense.

Jesus calls us into a sacrificial kind of life. A Christ-centered life is one that is lived for the sake of others. Not because serving people somehow depletes us, but because serving people fills us up. Caring for others becomes who we are. Putting others before ourselves is what it means to be Christian. If you feel burnt-out or overextended, that is why we have community. Ask for help! The responsibility of loving and caring for others is not on your shoulders alone. Serving is our collective mission. I promise, God will not let our capacity to love dry up or run out. With God, there is enough abundant life to go around for all people. We are in this together!

Avoiding apathy,

Pastor Lucas

Photo by Remi Clinton